It's one thing to notice cultural difference, but it's another to have them slap (or scratch) your kids in the face.....
Here they are, full of hope and excitement, and a fair measure of fear, on the first day of school. We never intended our kids to go full time. We wanted them to be exposed to the language, to other kids and to a different culture. I drop them off at 9:00 and pick them up right after lunch at 1:00 pm.
Here's what I think they do most of the day. Play in the dirt. It's not a covered sandbox- which really gives me the creeps from a public health perspective, but I was willing to overlook it as the girls love filling their pockets with dirt.
Here's the issue. The teachers don't watch the kids while they are on the playground. I have a hard time with that as Z is only 3. That's very young to be unattended in any situation, let alone with a mixed-age group. I saw a little boy grab her arms and stop her from moving. Poor thing, she just started crying. When I got to the entrance of the playground, I could see all the teachers leaning up against the wall, talking. It didn't sit well with me, mostly because of Z's age. She's also been pushed down while waiting in line- she told me all about it.
The real issue is a little Americana who scratches to draw blood, pinches to bruise and terrorizes the other kids when they won't listen to her demands. She does most of her work in the classroom- when the teacher turns her back. This little girl also scarred children last year in the same classroom and nothing was effectively done.
We met with the teachers and the other parents. The school completely absolved the parents of any responsibility! Right there in front of me. They think it's normal behavior and that putting her in a time out will do the trick. They don't want us to make a big deal about it, so the kids don't get the idea that it's a big deal. For me, that's a huge difference culturally. I suspect it would be very different in the American school system. In fact, this little gal has been kicked out of one American program and is back to the Italian system and taking full advantage of their style. The administrators suggested we get together with the parents on a social basis and let the kids play. (Because they are just not getting enough of her negative behavior at school!)
I get their point- maybe this girl can see some good behavior and maybe the parents can witness her wrath. It takes a village, right? I suppose if her parents were our neighbors, or we went to school with her parents, or have known them for years...maybe that would seem like a good option. I have personaly seen her be very nasty to the other kids. She tried to choke a little girl with a play blanket- sure, come on over for dinner! Yikes.
From what I can tell, H expends a lot of energy "protecting" Z. The teachers think it's because H is older, that it's normal- I am sure that is partially true. I also wonder if H senses Z isn't safe and wants to help her avoid injury? In any case, that's a lot of responsibility for a little kid. Too much, so Z is out.
Next, is H really getting anything valuable from the experience? Yes, she's being exposed to the language and to other kids...yes, there's the social aspect. Then there's the chance to play in the dirt.......for now, she's home with me.
Here they are, full of hope and excitement, and a fair measure of fear, on the first day of school. We never intended our kids to go full time. We wanted them to be exposed to the language, to other kids and to a different culture. I drop them off at 9:00 and pick them up right after lunch at 1:00 pm.
Here's what I think they do most of the day. Play in the dirt. It's not a covered sandbox- which really gives me the creeps from a public health perspective, but I was willing to overlook it as the girls love filling their pockets with dirt.
Here's the issue. The teachers don't watch the kids while they are on the playground. I have a hard time with that as Z is only 3. That's very young to be unattended in any situation, let alone with a mixed-age group. I saw a little boy grab her arms and stop her from moving. Poor thing, she just started crying. When I got to the entrance of the playground, I could see all the teachers leaning up against the wall, talking. It didn't sit well with me, mostly because of Z's age. She's also been pushed down while waiting in line- she told me all about it.
The real issue is a little Americana who scratches to draw blood, pinches to bruise and terrorizes the other kids when they won't listen to her demands. She does most of her work in the classroom- when the teacher turns her back. This little girl also scarred children last year in the same classroom and nothing was effectively done.
We met with the teachers and the other parents. The school completely absolved the parents of any responsibility! Right there in front of me. They think it's normal behavior and that putting her in a time out will do the trick. They don't want us to make a big deal about it, so the kids don't get the idea that it's a big deal. For me, that's a huge difference culturally. I suspect it would be very different in the American school system. In fact, this little gal has been kicked out of one American program and is back to the Italian system and taking full advantage of their style. The administrators suggested we get together with the parents on a social basis and let the kids play. (Because they are just not getting enough of her negative behavior at school!)
I get their point- maybe this girl can see some good behavior and maybe the parents can witness her wrath. It takes a village, right? I suppose if her parents were our neighbors, or we went to school with her parents, or have known them for years...maybe that would seem like a good option. I have personaly seen her be very nasty to the other kids. She tried to choke a little girl with a play blanket- sure, come on over for dinner! Yikes.
From what I can tell, H expends a lot of energy "protecting" Z. The teachers think it's because H is older, that it's normal- I am sure that is partially true. I also wonder if H senses Z isn't safe and wants to help her avoid injury? In any case, that's a lot of responsibility for a little kid. Too much, so Z is out.
Next, is H really getting anything valuable from the experience? Yes, she's being exposed to the language and to other kids...yes, there's the social aspect. Then there's the chance to play in the dirt.......for now, she's home with me.
Comments
Let's call it what it is, bullying, and even by a five year old IT IS NOT ACCEPTABLE! It's awful and frustrating that anyone would think the behavior is "normal" and acceptable.
I may suggest a conversation about bullying and bullies (like Nanny said) and why they are no longer at school. My guess is you are already ahead of me on this! :)