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This is really funny....no, really, it's funny...

The first installment in a day in the life of an Americana living in Italy...



This particular day is a bit blurry in my mind. I don't remember exactly the order in which the events occurred. I don't think it matters much. Every once in a while, I get all "American" and I try to be efficient. This never goes well. I try to "run errands." This is definitely not part of the Italian lifestyle. It's not that I don't know this, it's just that I forget.

Let's just start, shall we? There are several passes, forms, and visas involved in living in Italy. I have been negligent about pursuing said documents. Part of me wonders what would really happen if I just didn't get the forms done? But, having unfinished business as we approach our 2-year mark, makes me uneasy, so, we went to the Housing Office, where we waited 45 minutes to see a "counselor." The children were in good spirits at this point- it was early, and there's a play area which kept them busy while we waited.
We finally made our way back to our assigned office, and I gave the woman my documents for the "codice fiscale." She was an older lady, who spoke English with a British accent. This just cracks me up every time. She looked over my applications, the copies of passports, id cards, the copies of orders, all the paperwork I had so carefully assembled. She pointed out a blank I failed to sign, then she said, "Well, since you have to go downtown Pordenone for the children's documents, you might as well put in your application at the same time."

"Excuse me, I was told to apply for them here," I replied with more than a bit of exasperation.

"Oh no, you have to go downtown," she smiled.


I thought to myself, this surely MUST be a new policy put into effect yesterday. Yes, that must be the case. Of course, that was the case. I am surely not getting the run-around, surely.


Having waited all this time for my 2-minute positively worthless appointment, really, I decided to extend the appointment by asking about our "paint fee." You see, the Italian landlords charge a paint fee every time someone (American) moves into their rental properties. Are the places freshly painted? Of course they are....but they usually charge one month's rent for this whitewashing. (And one month's rent is usually double what an Italian would pay to rent the same property- cha ching.) The government (your government) picks up the tab. In this case, since we moved ourselves, we are responsible for the fee. Our current landlord is charging 2 month's rent. That is somewhere in the neighborhood of $3,000. Now, all joking aside, we don't live in a castle.....and to make it more interesting, he has a painter's receipt, which is required for him to charge this amount. Oddly, the receipt is for EXACTLY 2 months rent, not a Euro more, not a Euro less. Interesting.

I ask my counselor about this.....and if we really have to pay it. She asked if I had the receipt and when I said no, she looked like she was going to tell me that we have to come back with the receipt for her to consider this matter. I interrupted her, as politely as you can interrupt someone, and told her, in the sweetest tone I could muster, that had I brought the receipt, I am certain she would review it and tell me it's valid and that we have to pay it. (Which is what they told My Man a few weeks earlier. He was also informed that paint is very expensive here.) She offered to call my landlord to ask about it. I agreed. She phoned him, and I could understand her telling him that she knows it's a valid receipt, but that we have to pay for it out of pocket. She then asked me if I would like a discount....ah, yes, this is how it works, the old "discount." I agreed. He would kindly discount this valid receipt by 500 Euro. Wasn't that nice? Very nice. It makes me want to paint the walls black before we leave.

Comments

nanny said…
Really funny! But, how about chartreusse? What a generous landlord. I guess we must always ask for a discount. Perhaps living in Italy is like shopping for antiques. You see the price, you ask for a better price, you almost always get it, and then move on. What in the world is with that? The ladies are lovely and their expressions so authentically accurate. You really DO need to write a book. Love you all. #2 is really looking grown up to me. I love her haircut. Ciao!
Unknown said…
What a *crazy story*!! Paint it black like they say in the Rolling Stones' song! Holy cats, things do seem very ineffecient there! You are really learning patience there, eh, and modeling it for your girls!!
mimi and papa said…
To "reframe" this, your latest installment in a series of "capers" one could say that there is an element of consistency. I agree with Nanny and will go one step further and suggest a sitcom to artisically reenact the full Italian countryside experience through the eyes of the Mommy-O. What a Blast!
The girls are growing up and continue to get more adorable as time flies by--- how is that possible? Good genes!
Can't wait to see you! Lots of Love, Mimi

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